Allison Ponthier.
Might I answer something for you?
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Who goes there?
"My, you look grand!"
I'm Zelda and he's Scott.
I'm a real life Disney princess ok
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To Beatrice-- Darling, dearest, dead.
MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
“Superman dat hoe.” -Soulja Boy
"I won’t kiss you. It might get to be a habit and I can’t get rid of habits."
— F. Scott Fitzgerald (via thinklikeapinup)
*seductively lays across your lap and starts crying*
the fact that nobody likes me kinda hurts my heart sometimes
Illustrations by Sean Lewis:
Street harassment is not a compliment.
